Back to the Middle

(my cut locks)

"Needing to protect your self now that is just a part of life
If you let your fears keep you from flying, you will never reach your height
To get to the top you must come back to the middle
When will we learn, to come back to the middle . . . "

("Back to the Middle," India Arie)

I'm back. Are you willing to have me?

My last post on Black Married Momma was in March 2011. That means more than a year has gone by since I actively posted to my blog. So what happened?

1. No, I was not suffering from blogger fatigue. In fact, my blog was my respite from the ridiculousness of my everyday, super-paced life. It was an outlet for me to not only think (cause my mind is running all the time), but to actually articulate just a few of the many thoughts pervading my mind. It also gave me a platform to speak about true passions of mine: black marriage, the black family, black people, black history, black present and black future.

2. I was not kidnapped. Of course, if I had been, you probably wouldn't have heard about it. After all, I am a black woman, and the media still doesn't cover missing sisters like they do white children and blonde white women.

3. I did not get divorced. Getting divorced, of course, would have ruined the brand of my blog and perhaps my very ability to write about the many married-oriented topics I address here. So, trust, my marriage is still intact and, in fact, I dare say thriving.

4. I did not lose my kids. I am still a mother. No, I didn't move to Nebraska and decide to abandon my children under the "Safe Haven" law. My girls are still fabulous and, sadly, growing up all too fast.

5. I did not stop caring about parenting, marriage, relationships and black culture. If anything, having taken a break, I have much more to say and write about. So much has continued to happen in pop culture, modern America and the sub-culture of our community that begs commentary, analysis and study.

In my time away, I have had a few new experiences and accomplished several things that have led me to think, re-think, think some more, and re-think again about a variety of things. One physically major thing I did was cut my locks off to my shoulders and then unravel what was left!

But hair aside, I've been contemplating some pretty heavy stuff. How I want to spend my time. What I am doing with my life. How much time I have left, should I reach my medically projected life span. If I am living purposefully, with meaning and intent. Whether I am just going with the flow, or proactively redirecting the water to new, parched vistas of opportunity and need.

I'll share more in the days and weeks to come. Will you rejoin me? I hope so.